{8.1.06}

things i'm not

1. Jaded v. intr. To become weary or spiritless.

2. Bitter adj. Marked by resentment or cynicism.

I'm not perfect. When I get hurt, I hurt. But I refuse to let what happens or what I've done beat me down. I face it head on and deal with it. Sometimes this can get me into trouble, especially when I pick the wrong timing to tackle an issue. Patience, I have not. Compassion, I have. I'm always learning and treasure the lessons I've learned in life. My gymnastics coach once told me, "The only thing you get by looking back is a stiff neck." This may not have depth or sound poetic but it's always stuck in my thick stubborn noggin through life.

Today I would have been married 14 years. No regrets, merly a sentiment memory. I was on my new favorite website yesterday www.theknot.com and I realized that I get to plan my wedding. You see, my Mother, bless her heart planned my entire wedding back in 1992. Do you blame her? I was 18. Who at 18 knows what she wants entirely? I have to admit I was a little overwhelmed and had to close down to regroup...just a tiny bit. I'm so excited to start my lists and gather ideas on little scraps of paper. Jen and I plan to head over to John Day next month to stay with my Mama for a girls' weekend to plan plan plan away. Martha Stewart watch out, these two ladies are simply amazing. I can't wait to hit the local scene with Jen, show her what country life is really all about.  

**This afternoon I had lunch with Jamie from Cascade Publications. We were on the Sunfest Kid's Alley committee together and missed seeing each other on a weekly basis. She is getting married in 26 days and gave me some great advice. She is so easy to be around, calming and such a great listener. I'm looking forward to getting to know her more on a personal level.