{3.30.06}

spinning

Oh my, I must have repressed all the banking terminology, regulations and codes I'm supposed to remember. I just got back from The Dalles (a larger version of John Day, barely) for a PB (Personal Banker) Account Analysis class. My mind is spinning and I'm pretty sure I'll be dreaming of numbers or all the chocolate money candies that was passed around. I swear, this bank is big into their sweets!!! MUST RESIST.

I'm so excited for this weekend, we're going back to John Day for a little family get-together. My brother and his kiddos are at my parents house for Spring break building a tree house, that's now been upgraded to a bomb shelter...sweet! It has more amenities than my place and I bet it even has a microwave...haha! We'll no doubt have our traditional BBQ spare rib dinner and bonfire to roast marshmallows (moooooshhheyyys). Let's hope nobody gets hurt this time!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNIFER WEIS!!!! Love ya!!!!

{3.26.06}

playing nice

I'm sorry, but I've been having issues with Photoshop lately and if Mr. Barry would come over to install the version I want and teach me how to use the darn program like he said he would (hint hint), I wouldn't be pulling out my hair in frustration. Anyway, sorry for the inconvenience but reeeeeeeally, it's not like I've been changing them out with new and exciting ones...right?

This weekend has been relaxing and somewhat uneventful, which I'm totally digging lately. Maybe it's the training of the new job, adjusting to my move and balancing all other areas of my life that has my body craving for down-time. Adam, Brenner and I did however venture out of our caves to Bend this afternoon for some fun bowling and a short jaunt to Target, where I found a cute work top, shoes and Brenner's birthday invitations. Um excuse me, how is it possible that my baby is turning 5 years old in 11 days? Wow!!! This year and yet another will be a joint birthday party with my ex. It's really not so bad, as most of you are saying right now, "what the heck?". We play nice and everyone seems to get along just fine. I know the relationship that Russ and I have can be defined as odd or rare, but we made a promise to each other that we would always put Brenner's needs first. So people can talk, roll their eyes, judge or whatever...but I know that we are trying our very best for the sake of Brenner's healthy upbringing and happiness. Anyway, Brenner picked Robots for his birthday theme this year and I'm hoping everything else will be as easy to find as the invitations were. Maybe and this is a BIG maybe, I'll bake and decorate his cake. I did find the remote control motorcycle on the Discovery store online that he's been wanting. 

My favorite show starts shortly, so nighty night...sleep tight.

{3.24.06}

perks & peeves

Perks

• 
  
  Brenner saying refrigerator (rebiberater) & grilled cheese (gorilla cheese).
  
  


• 
  
  Mate Mochas.
  
  


• 
  
  Missing the 5 o'clock traffic rush.
  
  


• 
  
  Attending Coffee Clatters as a guest now and having the chance to win cool stuff.
  
  


• 
  
  Massage gift certificates.
  
  


• 
  
  Getting my nails done tomorrow...wee!
  
  


• 
  
  Delicato Bota Box (aka...cheap red wine in a box).
  
  

Peeves

• 
  
  The zillion different id & passwords I'm expected to remember at work.
  
  


• 
  
  Flaky people.
  
  


• 
  
  Still NOT having a microwave...good gravy!
  
  


• 
  
  USPS - what a joke.
  
  


• 
  
  My bestest friend moving! Why Jen why? I miss you already!!!
  
  


• 
  
  Constantly losing my car keys.
  
  


• 
  
  My broken computer speakers...(fingers tapping).
  
  

{3.22.06}

friendships

I've been meeting some awesome new people lately, but the trick for me is discerning which ones I truly want to invest my time with and call my real friends. I have so little time as it is and I feel it's nearly impossible to find the time it takes to create a real meaningful friendship and balance all of my other responsibilities at the same time. But as I get older and perhaps a little wiser I now realize it's ok to have different friends for different areas/needs in my life.

Today was my first day at the bank. I was pleasantly surprised when almost everything came back to me while opening my first account. It had been almost four years since my last banking experience, so to remember what I did tinkled me pink. Coincidently, knowing some Spanish would have been beneficial, hence my decision to take the Spanish class next month after all.  

Tonight as I prepared Brenner's snack, fixed dinner, tossed a load of laundry in the wash, emptied the trash, heated the iron for tomorrow's outfit, opened the mail, and checked accounts I wondered to myself if Brenner will think when he's grown and gone if I was a good Mother, like my Mother was/is to me. I try so hard to stay calm in our chaotic evenings during the week, but I have my moments and wish I had more patience and TIME with my sweet little boy.

{3.21.06}

last day

Today is my last day working for the Redmond Chamber of Commerce & CVB. Wow, how surreal. After cleaning the office last night I found myself standing for a moment in sadness before turning off the lights. I put my heart and soul into my job and the people I worked with. My time at the Chamber will forever leave a mark in my life. Cheers Miss Molly! 

So am I taking some time off before plugging head first into a new job? Nope, that would entirely make too much sense! I start my new job tomorrow morning, bright and early. I have a decision to make if I want to take a Spanish class at COCC offered through the bank. Hmm, learn a new job and language both in the same month? Hmm, I dunno. I'll probably talk myself out of it.

{3.20.06}

shoe box

I'm usually not the type of person to complain about my life or the situation I created for myself, but lately I've been having a hard time dealing. I'm 32 years old, live in a freakin' shoe box, sleep on a crappy bed (also my couch), work for peanuts and for what? It's not exactly the life I imagined for myself or for my son. I strive for contentment, but maybe I'm just a little too content with my current situation. I know that divorce and leaving a life of 12 years behind takes time to heal and soul search, but I believe that season is over for me. It's time for me to branch out of my comfort zone and seek the life I want and fully deserve.

On a lighter note, I just got back from the dentist with no cavities. Yay for flossing. I get the biggest kick out of my hygienist. She's always trying to find a polite way of telling me to floss more and better. I just smile and pretend I haven't heard her whole song and dance before. Sometimes I just want to veg, possible fall asleep in the chair while she scraps away the tartar build-up and not get the five-year-old lecture every time. I wish I could say, "yes, I know I don't floss that great, just deal and do your job". I'm a big girl and know that I need to floss everyday, but can I really floss, talk on my cell phone, put my mascara on and find a decent radio station (while driving to work) in the mornings all at the same time? So unrealistic. Anyway, I'm good for another 6 months.

{3.18.06}

crap-o-la

Adam and I spent over seven hours in Bend shopping today! I did score some cute items for work and a few for fun. I also managed to find some great deals for Brenner. Can I just say how cute little boys flip flops are...oh my gosh, I could just eat them up! We're super tired, but that's not going to stop us from going out tonight to celebrate Lauren and Nathan's engagement!!!

Last night Adam, Jenizzle, Eric and I met Cheryl at McMenamins (hippie haven) for dinner and drinks. Dinner was great and so was watching Cheryl do a little Irish jig. Must go and get ready now.

{3.16.06}

toilet curse

I'm home right now waiting for the plumber to finish fixing my toilet...again! Geez, I'm really not that hard on them, really. It's like I'm cursed or something...so who did it, who put the toilet curse on me? Fess up!!!  

I'm not going to lie to you, I have short timers at work BAD! I worked like a dog this week (hence my blogging block) to get everything organized and prepared for the new person. And not to mention that I've been training her at the same time. Ok, training someone to do my job really isn't my thing. I have control issues, believe it! I just want to do everything myself, no help please. I THINK I can do it faster and better, which is entirely not true and to let go of the years I spent getting everything just the way I want them is SO hard. I MUST LET GO!!!

Shopping shopping shopping! I have to shop for new work clothes this weekend. Augh, what a waste of money and a total fashion snooze! So any takers to go with me? Huh huh huh? Adam agreed to go, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind another volunteer.

{3.13.06}

sick day

It's 1:45pm this afternoon and I'm still in my pajamas. That's right, I decided to take a sick day today. Brenner's cough really isn't getting any better, so I thought a lazy day for both of us would be nice. I was motivated to get showered and dressed a few hours ago but that obviously didn't last. I rarely do this, really. I feel lazy and unproductive if I'm not out the door at 7:45am and multi-tasking until bedtime. Hum, I could really get used to this, or could I? Great, now I'm asking myself questions and answering them. Time to do something productive while Brenner naps.

{3.12.06}

toys & lemon drops

Friday night I had a little get together at my place with my girls. I gave them a tour of my new digs, some wine & appetizers and a party that some and/or their significant others will never forget! Heidi, Jen T. and I went to 7th Street afterwards for tasty lemon drops and a bite to eat, followed by a nice long visit with Jen in her driveway. Good times! Adam was a trooper and babysat three kiddos all under the age of five while we enjoyed our evening. Thanks sweets!

Other than dinner and Jaxon's birthday party last night, the weekend has been uneventful - thank you Lord! I've been on the go non-stop for weeks and I so badly needed a little down time...time to recharge and focus on things to come.

***

Portrait of Melissa by Adam - "Adam Rules".

{3.11.06}

guess what?

The following was emailed to me from Charla, Brenner's teacher:

Leave it to Brenner to make today, a Wednesday that I know should really be Thursday, and turn it all around. In one of his millions of “Charla guess what’s…..” Always followed by “What Brenner?” He responds:

“I am so smart.”

“Yes you are, how did you know that?”

“You told me.”

“Hey Charla, guess what?”

“What Brenner?”

“You know you love me?”

“Yes, I do Brenner. How did you know that?”

“You told me!”

“Hey Charla, guess what?”

“What Brenner?”

“Maybe I shoulda not ate that cookie?”

“Why, did it make your tummy hurt?”

“No, kinda bein bouncy”

Bouncy - that’s a good way to put it. I can almost stand back and watch the sugar enter his bloodstream. Only lasted a few minutes followed by a peaceful nap, that he is enjoying right now.

Hopefully that didn't bore you too much. Sometimes in the hustle of the day I forget to mention all the little things that he has done to bring a smile to my face. And people wonder why I do this. I am surrounded by the joys of innocence and complete honesty, even when its my fat roll that is being pointed at as I am bending over. Which also happened this morning……KIDS!

{3.9.06}

call me old fashion

I have certain values that I will probably never compromise with. One is the type of person I am in a relationship. I'm not a liberal girl, not so much. I like to be taken care of physically and emotionally. Deep down my passion in life is to stay at home with my family and be the best wife and mother I can be. Is that too much to want and ask for without compromising self value? Apparently it is. Why do we insist on status and monetary accomplishments so much that we end up driving the people we love the most away?

So until my Fairy Godmother makes her appearance, I'm a working full-time single mother and making the very best of it.

{3.8.06}

gimmes

Brenner has the gimmes...bad! Everything he sees on TV he HAS to have. From toys to cereal, he wants it all. I pride myself in teaching Brenner the value and importance of contentment - being thankful and happy with what he has. This can be a tough act to follow with today's demands and expectations. "But Jackson has one, Mommy", or "I'm a good boy, can I have a new toy?" A part of me wants so badly to give him everything he wants in this world, but buying my child's happiness and affection with "things" is not my definition of good parenting. I see this pattern all around me and I'm trying SO hard not to fall victim. Time to get out the Madame Blueberry Veggie Tale movie for a good refresher!

I gave my two weeks notice yesterday and it sure did create quite a ruckus in town. I was taking calls and responding to emails all afternoon explaining my career change. I hope to stay very involved with the community and the members I've become good friends with. So if I pass the drug test I'm set to start my new job March 22nd...my lucky number! Sweet.

perks

• 
  
  Having internet and a functioning computer at home.
  
  


• 
  
  Feeling loved and missed already by my clients.
  
  


• 
  
  Jordon almonds…I’m hooked.
  
  


• 
  
  Free cable TV.
  
  


• 
  
  Brenner’s gigantic heart to give and share with others…never change buddy!
  
  


• 
  
  Not having to cook tonight…whoa for birthday dinners!
  
  

peeves

• 
  
  People that don’t get obvious hints to hush up.
  
  


• 
  
  My futon mattress providing absolutely no support to my aching body.
  
  


• 
  
  Running into the corner of my futon every time I walk by the darn thing and bruising my leg over and over. 
  
  


• 
  
  Brenner’s procrastination routine at bedtime.
  
  


• 
  
  This dreadful and depressing weather…bleh.
  
  


• 
  
  Not having a microwave and finding creative ways to re-heat my coffee.
  
  


• 
  
  Passive-aggressive behavior.
  
  

{3.7.06}

zen sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me completely alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

{3.6.06}

bigo mistako

Vegas was fun, but we did entirely too much walking and not enough gambling! Did anyone give me good advice to wear really really comfy shoes? Noooooo, they did not. Dressy boots = bigo mistako! I swear we walked over 6 miles in two days, which would explain the four angry blisters that I now have on my feeties. I went straight to the local shoe store as soon as I got home to purchase a pair of Danskos....I love, I love! Stylish - not so much. Comfy - most definitely. Aside from getting egged walking back to our Hotel, I had a fab time. Yes, I said egged!

For all those waiting in anticipation, I got the job! I guess banking is in my blood and I start March 22nd for a local community bank in town, my title - personal banker. Wow, moving and a new job all in the same month, super fun!

Lauren came over tonight to get the grand tour of my new digs and to relieve me from my compulsive organizational mode that I've been in the last few weeks. Hope it was worth her time! We gabbed and giggled while drinking a few glasses of wine...good times!

{3.5.06}

las vegas

{3.1.06}

haggard

So I thought to myself today that I was feeling pretty energized despite the 16 hours of sleep I've had in the last four days. Boy was I wrong, dead wrong! This afternoon hit me HARD. On my way to Adam's tonight I broke down, I was exhausted and there wasn't a single thing I could do to hold back the tears. Poor Adam thought something horrible happened to me and felt completely helpless to comfort me. Basically I'm going to look like death on vacation, tired and haggard. Bleh...I'm going to bed now. Sweet dreams!

*** attention readers. allow me (adam) to include my $0.02. yes, it's true that melissa broke down. it's also true that i felt helpless. however, it is NOT true that she will look like death. particularly since on her worst day she's still gorgeous. that is all. ***