{4.30.08}

enemy pie

brenner's favorite bedtime story

{4.29.08}

a weekend recap

this month has been filled to the brim with excitements, let-downs, tears, irritations, reunions and confirmations. so ummmmmmmmmmmm...stick a fork in me - i'm done!

last weekend was fun and productive...the perfect combo!

saturday: after exchanging our rental car for the third and painful time i rushed brenner to sun mountain fun center for parker's belated birthday party. lisa and shane offered to take brenner home for an extended play date so i was free to shop, by myself, without budget reminders, all afternoon loooooooong. whoo-weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

sunday: my laptop came down with a nasty case of spyware which prompted a trip to costco to purchase a backup drive. thank heavens my awesome husband was able to find a way around it to salvage most of my files and photos. after spending hours inside the house we spent hours outside in the front flower beds pulling weeds and unwanted plants and shrubs. maybe we'll actually get to design, plant and enjoy our yard this year. maybe.

this picture was taken yesterday at brenner's little league game. i swear we feed this child, really, we do!

{4.23.08}

a pricey owie

while making membership calls yesterday our audi was mistaken for a "curb" by a very large f350 truck backing out of a parking space.

damage report = $2,595.58

{4.20.08}

like, what?

while going through brenner's pockets this morning -- i found this:

hmm....

{4.18.08}

another first

despite the freezing temperatures and the coach forgetting brenner's pants, his first rookie little league game was so much fun!!!!

{4.17.08}

snails and a tree

brenner & austin - redmond's finest artists!

{4.14.08}

67

happy 67 years young, papa! we love you so much!!!

{4.13.08}

healing

our weekend getaway to newport, oregon

{4.11.08}

tgif

perfect weather for a quick trip to the coast this weekend. i'm so excited for some alone time with my super awesome husband. 

i got the memo and a great hug this morning!  

{4.9.08}

it's perfect

{in remembrance of you: my sweet baby in heaven.}

by "chance" i found this necklace on dreams and jewelry. the color of the stone and the words "cradle the gemstone" immediately brought tears to my eyes and i knew, i knew it was meant for me. i left the artist a comment on my order form sharing our story and the meaning behind my purchase.

she wrote back:

"i'm so sorry for your loss. i lost my husband in june last year to a car accident and i can't imagine the feelings that you and your husband must be feeling. may god be with you." andrea

by "chance"? i don't think so.

{4.7.08}

hurts

it's 9:30pm monday night and i'm in bed with my laptop resting nicely on my cramping empty uterus. sounds delightful, doesn't it?!

nearly a week has gone by since the doctor told us our baby died and i'm still waiting for what feels like an endless dose of novocaine injected in my heart to wear off. i can handle the physical pain from the surgery and all that is involved after, but the emotional pain is another story. i don't do pity. i told myself over and over again to "snap out it"...."get over it"...."move on". i guess i'm a horrible listener because yesterday and today i had the biggest pityfest of my life. i cried like i have never cried before. i was one very snotty-nose, sobbing mess!

tomorrow i go back to work. i'm super thankful because if i had to spend one more day watching daytime tv i was going to call in a refill of vicodin requesting a much higher dose.

one day at a time, right?!

{4.6.08}

7

bowling and party room rental = $45.00

pizza & soda = $38.00

arcade games = $20.00

vicodin for the pain = priceless and very necessary!!!

{4.4.08}

faith

there is a window in your heart through which you can see god. once upon a time that window was clear. your view of god was crisp. you could see god as vividly as you could see a gentle valley or hillside.

then, suddenly, the window cracked. a pebble broke the window. a pebble of pain.

and suddenly god was not so easy to see. the view that had been so crisp had changed.

you were puzzled. god wouldn't allow something like this to happen, would he?

when you can't see him, trust him...jesus is closer than you've ever dreamed.

--in the eye of the storm

father, i believe that when i see you, any suffering that i endure on the face of this earth will be worth it. Help me to understand. And when I cannot understand, help me to trust.

***

our baby was loved and we find peace in knowing that everything happens for a reason. Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers and flowers....beautiful flowers. we love you all.

{4.1.08}

april

despite the always changing weather (snow, rain, hail, wind, sunshine...repeat) april is one of my most favorite months of the year. it represents so much goodness... 

1. 
   
   brenner's birthday.
   
   


2. 
   
   new flowers.
   
   


3. 
   
   sunny days.
   
   


4. 
   
   fun road trips.
   
   


5. 
   
   new outlooks.
   
   

brenner got home from yuma sunday afternoon and i couldn't stop hugging and kissing on him! even though he called us every day, sometimes twice, i couldn't wait for my baby to be home. he kept the sweetest journal filled with daily pictures and stories describing each day.

to my parents: for playing countless games of "i'm thinking of an animal" and hearing "are we there yet?" for 2,522 miles with a very active "chocolate injected" six-year-old boy, you both deserve "saint" status.  

to my aunt and uncle: thank you for making brenner's spring break vacation "unforgettable".